Leadership is a term easily tossed about but not really understood. We talk about what good leadership is, what we expect from a leader, or even how we would be a leader. There are books that talk about leadership, frame it up, break it down, and detail out the idiosyncrasies. When I refer to understanding leadership, I’m referring to your emotional relationship with the word. Let me explain.

I’m guessing that if I asked you about leadership, you could give me a pretty quick rundown of what it means to you.  It would be grounded from your intellect, very detailed and descriptive.  As I work with clients, I’m finding that the emotional aspect of leadership is often unexplored or has been explored but is not brought forward in the context of goal setting or goal obtainment.  The emotional side of leadership is about YOU - how you relate emotionally but what that word means to you.  Some fear leadership. Some embrace leadership. Some cannot imagine themselves as a leader. And for each person, leadership has a different definition (or more rightly said, has a different flavor of definition).

So, beyond the definitional aspect of leadership, there is an emotional relationship to the word. I feared leadership for a long time. I mean, in my mind’s eye, I knew what leadership meant, and when I superimposed me in a leadership role, I freaked out! It was too overwhelming. It was definitely a gradual process of taking baby steps toward aligning me with the word. I chose to take on particular aspects and components of leadership one at a time. Over time, I adapted leadership into how I began to describe myself, how I began to articulate my goals, and how I acted and portrayed myself to my peers. It took years. Just as we have relationships with people, we have relationships with words and definitions.

Just as relationships with people grow, so too do our relationships with words and how we define ourselves with them. I have found that while coaching clients, there is a need to explore certain words and what defines them. Together, we take time to understand where there is misalignment or a sense of holding around words. Too often the sense of being stuck can be rooted in our not wanting to take on a leadership role, even though that is where our goals are pointing us. What are your definitions of leadership and how do you emotionally relate to the word? Does your relationship hold you or expand you in your path to success?

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